Hi, you've reached AuntieM. I've mentally checked out for a while, please leave me a message and I'll get back to you when I return to sanity (or whatever passes for sanity around here). BEEP.
This mental vacation I've been taking for the last few days has done me a world of good. In the vein of not really being here - I'm not here, I'm a fig newton of your imagination - here are some random thoughts and things that have made me laugh:
Passage from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in which Ford Prefect descrbes spending a year out of his mind, pretending he's a lemon slice and the lake he's jumping into is a gigantic gin and tonic. Hmmm... sounds refreshing.
More Hitchhikers: The key to learning how to fly is to aim yourself at the ground and miss.
Jeff Foxworthy describing a woman with a large rear end: looks like a poodle riding a Hippity-Hop.
“Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Snore, and you sleep alone.” - Yakov Smirnoff
Talking cat: Yes, I'm serious. Boycat has a pretty impressive vocabulary that he uses quite effectively. Last night I cooked a tuna dish for dinner so of course both Boycat and Girlcat were underfoot. Boycat was running out of patience so he stood up tall, looked me in the eye and said very clearly "Me now?" A sentence. Clearly enunciated. It was impressive. Normally his best word is "No!", and I hear it frequently when I give him his shots. Unfortunately Girlcat isn't nearly as verbally expressive - she thinks everything can be summed up in one sound: Prrrruuu? That's okay though, she's smart when it comes to mechanical things. This is a mixed blessing because she has learned how to open drawers and now likes to nap in a drawer of thermal underwear. I kid you not. She can also open the doors to the crawlspace,which has necessitated the installation of a child lock on those doors. She's fascinated by how things work. I may regret this later, but I'm in the process of teaching her how to work the snooze alarm. so she can go hit the button for me when I don't want to get up just yet.
Oral hygiene for cats: I've started the cats on an oral hygiene regimen which they actually enjoy. Remember the tuna? Cats love tuna juice almost as much as they love tuna itself. Cats also need help keeping their teeth clean. Here's the chocolate/peanut butter moment: Cats will chew on a toothbrush dipped in tuna juice and brush their own teeth! Boycat and Girlcat now have their own toothbrushes, the smallest child-size brushes I could find. Whenever we open a can of tuna I drain the juice into a bowl instead of down the drain, and the cats get to brush their teeth. I had to get Hubby to help me with that last night because I can only brush one cat's teeth at the time, and those cats will nearly fight to be first! Try it yourself, it's pretty amusing.
“There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” - Douglas Adams
Something that has amused and entertained me greatly over the last few weeks is a TV series called "Breaking Bad" which is an origial production of AMC-TV. This series is about a high school chemistry teacher (played by Bryan Cranston, a favorite actor of mine) who discovers he has inoperable lung cancer. He is faced with a very poor prognosis and the knowledge that his family will suffer severe financial hardship after his death. At the same time he is introduced to the world of crystal meth by his brother in law, a DEA agent who invites him on a ride-along to watch them bust a meth lab, and he gets the idea that he can score lots of cash quickly by cooking meth with the help of a former student who has the sales connections. After all, he knows the chemistry and is able to produce a chemically pure product that soon becomes extremely popular on the street. This description doesn't even begin to do the show justice, however - it is a darkly written story with some really twisted humor that is made even more intense by the seriousness of the plotline. This one is so worth checking out!
One project I'm going to tackle this weekend is making a dress to wear at commencement in mid-May. I picked up my cap and gown this week. It's interesting that some people are simply more formal than others, generally due to age and upbringing. In some respects I'm kind of formal about things - wearing a dress with my gown instead of shorts, that sort of thing. But I decided to defy convention with my choice of footwear. Ordinarily I'd wear a nice pump with a dress, but not this time. The commencement ceremony will be held outdoors, in the morning, so at the very least the grass will be dewy. Heels are never a good idea when walking on grass. I've been searching for weeks now for the perfect shoe to wear to commencement, and I've kept on coming back to the same ones, even though I never thought I'd own a pair, much less wear them with a dress, and to a ceremony at that! But I'm going to. I bought a pair of Crocs in a pink that will go well with my dress, and now I'm all set. I seriously doubt I'll be the only person wearing them; out here they're ridiculously popular. Besides, it seems like such a college graduate thing to do... wait till I get my BA, maybe I'll go with shorts and flip-flops.
Later,
AuntieM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment